How Bristol Woman came about

These are the few words I said at the launch of Bristol Woman on November 25, 2013 at the Mauretania:

I never thought I would be interested in women’s rights. I come from Moldova, a former Soviet country, and being raised indoctrinated by the apparent equality of Soviet socialism – I never questioned equality between men and women. It’s not until I started researching trafficking in human beings and other forms of contemporary slavery and violence against women that I started to open my eyes to women’s rights violations and where these come from.  I could not believe it then that I’ve had my eyes wide shut to such systematic violations for so long. As I was learning about case of physical and psychological abuse – my view of the world and of the state of women in the world has changed forever.

I now have two lovely daughters and the oldest one is very outspoken, emotive, and pro-active. If I had a coin for every time she was called a chatter box or bossy, I would not be here today, I would be in the Bahamas enjoying some sun.  But there is a problem to her being called that  - as it is bound to influence her continuing to be outspoken and pro-active into  her teens and adulthood. The youngest one is probably the same, it’s just that she is only 17 months and only learning to express herself.

Even I, being a women’s rights activist get the occasional instinctive urge to tell her to be quiet and listen more, say less, be less “in your face”.  That’s what society would expect. Just like any other women, I easily feel and give in to the pressure of society’s expectations. And then when we look around and see that women are underrepresented in decision making and leadership roles, we wonder “why?”.

To be or not to be...

I often think I’d like to be a writer. Captivate audiences with interesting topics, have a sophisticated and witty style. I can almost see it – sitting at a desk with a view of  some greenery in a nice tranquil village. Writing away at my desk. A nice candle burning away by my side, inspiring a finger dance on the keyboard.

Except then reality hits and I am in a Bristol suburb, crowded houses outside my window, not a site of candles, dreading the blank page on my screen. If anything, having to write will more often frustrate me.  I get very excited and passionate when I talk about things like migration, or women’s rights, but I actually dread putting the thoughts on paper.

I always wonder why that is. And I also wonder if it is better to pursue such dreams until we perfect our skill, or if it is best to leave it and move on to things that are easier for us to do and develop a passion for them instead. What has your experience been?

This is what a feminist looks like

There was a time, when I was in my mid 20’s when I too thought feminism was a dirty word. It was a Saturday night in lower Manhattan, and I got into an argument with my friend over him buying me drinks. As we stepped out of the bar into warmth of a New York summer night, he offered to take me home and I politely declined making my way towards a stuffy subway.   

A few other girlfriends joined me and as we were giggling away I heard him mutter something including the word feminist. I don’t quite remember what he said, but I remember feeling offended. How dare him call me that! As we waited for the subway for what seemed like hours, I could not get over the fact that I was just called a feminist.

It took nearly 10 years, but I did finally get to a point where being called a feminist is a compliment. Makes me feel proud, and I think I finally got something right. The thing is, because of the way feminism is portrayed in mainstream culture, I’ve wasted a lot of my active youth years trying to disassociate myself from this concept. And a lot of other young women do too. 

Perhaps it’s time we reinvent feminism. Or just clear its name from all the negative connotations our patriarchal society has attached to it. It’s also time we bring feminism home – and by home I mean making it a part of our daily lives.  Perhaps making feminism practical can engage more young women.

Women in Business

This week I went to the launch of Bristol and Somerset women in business awards. It was a VIP event and I wanted to make sure I am dressed for the occasion. But as I was leaving the house, there was not much I could do about the snot patches on my clothes from my lovely toddler who was trying to hang on to my leg as if her life depended on it.

A friend told me later that at the feet of every successful business woman is a snot covered toddler. I used to think that at the feet of every successful woman is the world. Now I know my friend is right. The world is nothing compared to the toddler.

After meeting some brilliant and inspiring women at the event, I saw that most of them are juggling children and business. They are leaders both in business and at home. And although the awards recognize the hard work that goes into making motherhood and business work through the Business Mother category, it’s important we recognize that most of the women in other categories will be mothers. Hard working women shaping the business of tomorrow and the new generation. 

Accessible Mental Health and Wellbeing

This week mental illness in the UK has been back on the political agenda as Ed Miliband names it “the biggest unaddressed health challenge of our age”. And rightly so. From my experience in working with vulnerable women and migrants I can say that access to mental health support services would have solved a lot of issues. But there are several barriers to accessing mental health support services (in this post I am primarily looking at low to medium mental health needs):

1.       They are very scarce or even non-existent. And they are non-existent not necessarily because they are not there, but because people don’t know about them or because they can’t access them. Undocumented migrants and migrants with visa restrictions for example aren’t able to access them at all.

2.       They have gatekeepers that are hard to by-pass. One example comes from GPs who would often simply prescribe anti-depressants and not refer patients on to support services such as counselling or alternative therapies. Another example of gatekeeping is the way in which current commissioning services are tendering mental health.

Back to School Sexism

The sexism in products for children is unbelievable and after a few weeks of doing the school shopping for my 4 year old I now feel like I am back in the 50s. It’ s like a whole new world has opened up to me with loads products targeted at 4 year old kids pigeonholed by gender.  This is done through color and advertisement that is either active or passive. And there is no way around it because these are products you need for school.

Pink is for girls, blue is for boys. Comfortable active shoes are for boys and dressy shoes and boots are for girls. Waterproof coats that say “active kid” are for boys and the more fluffy ones that get easily soaked say “hello kitty” (don't even get me started on hello kitty!) and are for girls. Right?

How did we come to this in the 21^st century in a country such as the UK, which prides itself on freedoms and human rights? How many freedoms and rights have we achieved if all mainstream shops have products for active boys and pretty girls?  I think the UK public should not that it’s not like this everywhere in Europe. Nordic countries such as Norway and Sweden are excellent at designing products for children that are not political statements in pink or blue, but are just that – clothes, shoes, and toys for children.

Bristol's Changing Health Landscape. Part I.

Bristol’s Joint Health and Wellbeing Strategy

Does anyone understand the changes to the current health sector? I come into contact with it through work every day, and still have a hard time understanding what is happening. I know some processes are only being established, but I think it will be useful to go over the likes of CCGs and Healthwatch and various strategies to understand where that leaves me and you as service users.

This post will be the first of a series of posts on the changing health landscape in Bristol, in particular when it concerns women.

Bristol’s Health and Wellbeing Strategy 2013-2018 is not only “fit for the future”, but also available in the future, because right now only a draft for consultation is available. The consultation ended on May 10 of 2013. To me, the strategy reads a bit weak, with broad goals and objectives, and very little clarity of how we are going to get there. How are we going to “become a city where health inequalities are reducing”? I think those who drafted it should look a bit more into developing SMART (specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, time-bound) priorities.

NMC getting it wrong on performance improvement

Nursing and Midwifery Council's get professional or be sacked strategy

Today we’ve seen that the Nursing and Midwifery Council now wants to see patients, colleagues and employers give feedback on  the performance of nurses and midwifes. Those deemed not up to scratch face being barred from working, under the plans drawn up by the NMC.

In my everyday work I often come into contact with nurses, midwifes and care workers. Most of the time they are caring overworked women, low paid and with minimum access to career progression and learning opportunities.

Given the backlog and the number of disciplinary cases over recent years, it is not surprising the NMC is pushing this agenda. However, for an organisation seeking to improve quality of patient care, why is the NMC focusing on punishment and not on improving quality of work for the nurses? A basic review into why quality is slipping will take us right back to the needs of nurses and midwifes that are not met in the first place – such as clear paths to career progression, learning opportunities, mentoring, and clear management processes.

Bristol Challenge

OR how can Bristol shape a meaningful intervention in Syria

We often hear that we live in an interconnected globalised world, and that things happening on the other side of the world are bound to have an impact on our local community. This discourse has been part of the debate on Syria.

So how do the events in Syria impact our lives in Bristol? I am looking outside the office window on a clear sunny day like today and see nothing to worry about. The beautiful Ashton Court in the distance is making the place look tranquil and peaceful. There are children happily playing in the playground, people walking their dogs, some young people noisily driving their motorbikes on the grass and making a mess – nothing out of the ordinary for Bristol. Nothing to indicate worry, displaced people, destroyed houses and lives, ended lives at the hand of conventional or chemical arms.

I am not even sure the full effect of the situation is felt in all of Syria. On Friday an acquaintance from Romania went to Syria to get married. He is either a committed romantic or the events in Syria are not so desperate everywhere.

Back to Bristol though. How does this affect us here and now, why should we care, and what can we do?